Saturday, August 9, 2014

Sad

Vi's birthday is in 10 days. I should be planning a fun party. Instead I am planning a little barbecue with our family and close friends. It doesn't make sense. It isn't fair. I can't even think about it really. I am living in an almost constant state of denial. This isn't really my life. I'm not really a walking talking shell of a person. I didn't really watch my daughter die. This isn't really my life. It can't be. I can't be expected to live this way for the rest of my life. I am so sad. So so sad. To the inner most working of my soul. Profoundly. Completely. Irrevocably. Sad.




I miss you my sweet fat baby. I miss you so much. I don't know how to keep doing this. This whole living without you thing. I am so broken without you. I love you sweetie pie honey buns. Wait for me, let's go to the stars. 

5 comments:

  1. You're not alone <3 you have a beautiful family.

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  2. I went to school with you, though we never knew each other. I have read your blog and I think of and pray for you often. I think you are an amazing mom. Just by reading your blog, you are an example of the kind of mom that I hope I am. My heart aches when I think of what you and your sweet family must be going through, so I can't even imagine how much your heart physically aches. It really is not fair. You will always be hers. Happy Birthday beautiful Violet.

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  3. I just want to wish Violet a happy birthday with the angels, and peace for you and your family. Many people think of you and your baby Violet. Best wishes to you.

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  4. I hope today was okay for you. You were both in my thoughts <3 and your lovely family, as well.

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  5. Thinking of you and your birthday angel! I don't even know you, but my heart breaks for you and you are always in my thoughts and prayers! Life seems to just go on, but your pain is not forgotten, and Violet will never be forgotten.

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