You know how when you buy a new car, and then you start seeing the car everywhere? I genuinely hope it is the same phenomenon happening now, with all the sad stories of little ones passing away. Since Violet died I have stumbled across so many heartbreaking stories. Vienne. Ollie. Sage. Preston, Julian, Kaden. Olive. Kate. Maddalena. The twins. So many others. And, today I heard about a beautiful sweet little dude named Ryan who died in a tragic accident. I just can't shake this. Why does it happen so often and I never knew it? How could all of these beautiful kids be dying and I was so oblivious. I encountered some child death before all off this. Maddie. Ronan. Ryker. Shaundi. A few others that I have sadly and embarrassingly forgotten the names of. My sweet cousins Brad and Kate lost their baby boy, Miles, almost 4 years ago. So, I knew it happened, I knew it could happen to someone you love, I just didn't know how often it happens. I went to a Mother's day lunch yesterday for mom's who have lost a child. So many sad tragic stories. It is disgusting, just disgusting. There is no other way to describe it. No other word to explain the horror of having to live the rest of your days missing a huge piece of your heart and soul. It is comforting in a strange awful way to know that I'm not alone. But, oh how I wish I was alone. All these beautiful babies and kids. I just can't even handle it. All their broken beautiful mama's. I wish I could give all of them a hug, tell them that I am in this with them. We're in this together ladies. And, to sum it up, it's fucking awful.
God I miss her.
I miss you silly baby. I just miss you. Wait for me, lets go to the stars.